TBGCTBGC
He Defines Me
Chapter Ten
Had he not known better, he would have thought they were sleeping angels. Harry lay on top of Malfoy in his leather pants and white shirt, the one with no buttons. It had slinked up to his waist, and fallen off the shoulders, revealing a tantalizing amount of pale skin. His head was nuzzled into Malfoy’s chest, and his arms were tucked up against himself.
Malfoy had his face buried in Harry’s messy hair, one arm around his waist, fingers languidly laid against the overly silk smooth skin, his other hand seemed to have found it’s way into the back pocket of Harry’s pants, helping to secure their tenuous position on the couch.
Severus closed the door as softly as possible, but at the slight clicking sound Harry’s eyes flew open and he stared for a moment before breaking into a smile, stumbling off the couch and across the room. "Mister Severus!"
Draco sat up, a slight jealous glint to his eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared and he stretched out, "Good luck getting him to sleep, Professor. Night, Harry."
As soon as the door had closed, Severus pushed Harry away from him and held him at arms length, "Harry, you’ll have to stop jump me when I come in the door."
Harry shook his head, but didn’t attempt to come forward again as Severus let go of his arms. Watching the boy carefully, he looked around the room for the house elf. Malfoy had probably asked her to leave so he could be alone with Harry. An uncharacteristic pang hit him in the stomach and he looked at Harry again. Unlike the evening before, he was not flushed, or looking self assured, he seemed every bit as much the child he was not.
It was hard, in face of such an innocent smile, to remember that Harry had spent his entire life performing sexual favors, that it came second nature; that everything Malfoy had said was true, because he had no delusions as to what Voldemort would have done with such a beautiful pet. It was also much harder not to notice how beautiful Harry was as he stood there, fully awake, his arms behind his back, his shirt half falling off. He seemed more a creature born for sex than a child.
Putting a hand back on Harry’s shoulder he led him into the bedroom. By the lack of sexual pheromones coming from him, Harry must have taken a bath at some point, so he helped the boy onto the bed and handed him one of the overly large cotton night shirts he had bought in Hogsmead. He noted the predictably disgusted look that Harry gave the offending material as Severus pulled his own robes off and went into the bathroom to prepare for bed.
Part of him noticed that in such a short time simple things had become habit, things they did without talking, without instruction. Walk Harry to the bed, let him get dressed and lay down while Severus went to the bathroom because it was inappropriate to change in front of the boy, come back, get under the covers, give an annoyed grunt, that was as much uncontrollable as Harry’s scrunched noses at the sight of cotton, when the small body curled around his. In reality, in some portion of his mind, he knew he did not mind the contact, he would be far more displeased had Harry turned away.
He was vividly reminded of how routine things had become as Harry reached down under covers, lightly brushing against something that was far from normal. Opening his half closed lids, Severus turned and saw Harry’s green eyes, twinkling in delight, "Draco said I should be persistent."
Severus moved Harry’s hand, keeping eye contact, trying to convey that he was serious, "The Malfoy brat is nothing short of insolent."
Harry hooked his leg around Severus’ hips and sat up. He’d not changed shirts, leaving on his open front silk, but he had taken off his pants. "He said you’d say that."
Shoving Harry onto the bed, Severus looked at him sternly, "Then he’ll have told you I was serious."
"He did." Severus’ was caught off guard long enough for Harry to get his hand under the covers again, despite protest, "He also said you would cave if I kept it up long enough."
Much to Severus’ disappointment he felt his arousal growing and knew Malfoy was once again right. He could only hold out for so long, the other night had just about killed him. With a guttural growl he pulled Harry on top of him, holding the boy’s wrists above the cuffs, "Harry, listen to me, you are fifteen, far too young for me to be having sex with."
"Tom’s older than you. How can I be too young for you, but not for Tom?
Severus took several deep breaths as Harry shifted above him, inadvertently rubbing his cock through his night shirt. A sudden smirk told him that not only had that been his intention, but he had been spending far too much time with young Malfoy. "He has no morals, I do."
"Morals?" Slipping off Severus’ lap, he crossed his legs, his entire demeanor changing to one of interest, "What are morals?"
It should have been cute, endearing even, but in light of the situation, Severus found it more annoying than either of those, "Morals are the inner part of us that tell us what is wrong and what is right. Voldemort has none, he feels right or wrong should not apply to him. I do, and I can not go against everything I have ever believed."
Harry scrunched his nose up, working through the information, "I don’t understand. If you’re a death eater, don’t you believe in the same things Tom does?"
Severus stopped breathing for a moment, "Harry, I am a spy. I pretend to believe in Voldemort so that I can tell Dumbledore what he’s planning."
"So you lie."
After a moment turning it around in his head, he gave up, "Yes, I lie. However, I do it to save lives. I tried to save your parents, but I failed, and I regret that. But there are hundreds of people I and other spies have saved, people who would have otherwise died at His hands. Those people do not deserve to die, just as you do not deserve to be treated as a pet."
Lifted his hand to Harry’s face, he touched it and watched the boy close his eyes, leaning into the palm, "You deserve to be touched," He pulled him down and ghosted his lips over Harry’s, "kissed, loved, comforted, you deserve to be treated like a person."
Severus could hardly believe himself, his tone of voice was soft, affectionate, his words were tender. He found himself feeling light headed, and out of control, something he could safely say had never happened. In the face of torture, he held his ground, with people dying around him, he had kept his head, in sex and pain and anguish and guilt, he had never felt as though he were falling and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
A small tear ran down Harry’s cheek, though the blissful expression had never changed, "Severus, please love me. I want you to, I need you to. Show me what it’s like, please."
Pulling the boy down onto the bed, he wrapped his arms around him from behind and nuzzled his neck, unable to control the affection, "I’ll show you love, Harry, but I will not simply have sex with you. Love is not about sex, it is about caring. Trust me to show you that."
He kissed the boy’s neck and absently moved his free hand around to brush the few tears from his faced, "You may be physically ready, but the act of making love is very different from random sex, and I won’t take that from you until I’m sure you are ready to experience it properly. When the time is right, we will, when you understand it, when you are ready."
Sighing, Harry curling his fingers around the hand, "Promise you’ll tell me when I’m ready?
Severus chuckled into the messy hair and kissed it affectionately, amazed at his own tenderness, "Promise."
-tbc-